Tomorrow’s Dinner: Homeopathic Chicken Stirfry

As a busy single individual I like to limit my cooking to once or twice a week, each time cooking enough food for several days. Five days ago I made five days worth of delicious chicken stirfry. After finishing off my final serving, all of the chicken and lovingly cut fresh vegetables are gone. However, about a serving’s worth of rice remains. What to do with this rice? Have it as a snack or throw it out? Then it hit me!

HOMEOPATHIC CHICKEN DINNER!

Winning!

Think about it. Homeopathic is clearly a load of anti-reality nonsense burgeoning and eminently valid field of evidence-based healthcare. After all, the Ontario Ministry of Health wouldn’t be setting up a homeopathic regulatory board – The College of Homeopaths of Ontario – if homeopathy is nonsense, right? I mean, what’s the point in regulating nonsense? I suppose it could promote safety. But in terms of maximizing effectiveness, it’s not like doing something nonsensical “the right way” (“Bill, you’re not succussing it right! You shake up and down first, then side to side!”) is gonna make it less nonsensical. Am I right? Similarly, I wouldn’t have gotten brow-beaten by my Masters of Occupational Therapy professor for being a black-and-white thinker for criticizing an idea that had a leg to stand on, right? Exactly. So anyhow, homeopathy=good.

Homeopathy contends that water maintains memory of all that had ever been dissolved in it. Similar to how water as a solvent is the base (i.e., foundation) for solutes, rice is the base of many meals. So maybe if water will remember a solute that has been completely and decisively diluted out of it (which, by the way, makes everything we drink a homeopathic solution – I wonder how many times I’ve drank homeopathic dinosaur urine…. but I digress…) my rice will remember the chicken that was in it the day before. And even if that argument doesn’t hold up, the rice is more than half water! Bulletproof.

Look how much money this will save me, too! No wonder the agricultural and farming industries don’t want us to know about homeopathic chicken dinners….

If anyone knows the conversion rate of memory proteins to actual proteins, feel free to enlighten me in the comment section below.

About these ads

6 thoughts on “Tomorrow’s Dinner: Homeopathic Chicken Stirfry

  1. Ron, I’m not sure I follow this article…the connection between paragraph 1 and paragraph 2 is missing. But the strike-out in paragraph 2 is hilarious :)
    -Ren

  2. I finally understand what you mean by “homeopathic chicken dinner” after reading the article again. I think if you switch paragraph 2 and 3 around and make some minor adjustments, it’ll be more clear.

    You can also have homeopathic lobster and steak dinners now. Eat like a king, but pay for the rice!
    :D
    -Ren

  3. Pingback: Posts from the current blog: Death By Trolley « The Frame Problem

  4. Pingback: Homeopathy Under Fire in the US, UK, Italy, Israel and Australia « Death By Trolley

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s