Homer J Simpson is Catholic? Jesus H Christ…

“They won’t even notice. They’re too busy praying to their phony-baloney ‘God’”

- Homer Simpson in The Simpsons Movie.

A number of sources such as Forbes are reporting on how The Vatican newspaper has an article out by L’Observatore Romano  in which it is asserted that Bart and Homer Simpson are Catholic.

“few people know it and he does everything to hide it but it is true: Homer J. Simpson is Catholic.”

Well, you gotta give Homer credit. He’s doing a pretty good job hiding it. You already saw Exhibit A, a wonderfully blasphemous quote from The Simpsons Movie, at the beginning of this post. And if Exhibit A wasn’t enough for you or if perhaps you were out getting popcorn when it was uttered, Exhibit B followed just a few minutes later. When Homer’s father began having a seizure, a panicked Homer desperate for ideas on what to do grabbed a copy of the Bible, flipped through it frantically, and then exclaimed

“THIS BOOK HAS NO ANSWERS!!”

Romano claimed that Bart and Homer converted to Catholicism in a 2005 episode. I don’t recall this episode clearly enough to know if the conversion stuck – nor did I watch many episodes that proceeded it. But I do know that The Simpsons Movie was released in 2007. So, if he is Catholic, well as Romano noted, he’s doing everything he can to hide it.

The Alyona Show covered this interesting story as well. As Alyona points out, if the Church wants to get on the good side of kids, they may want to actually show that they care about kids by addressing their child molestation crisis. Y’know what is real hip and cool around the schoolyard these days? Not protecting those who molest vulnerable kids and then brow-beating the kids into silence.

 

To anyone who finds the remarks made in this post to be anti-Catholic: it is anti-Catholic to the same extent that being anti-torture/anti-Bush Administration is being anti-American. One can be appalled by the acts of a group’s leadership without also having disdain for the individual members, on the one hand, or the whole, on the other. For the record, though, 1) I am an atheist, and 2) this is surely not my only beef with the Catholic Church. The Church establishment is living proof that power can and does corrupt. Billions of dollars and somewhere in the ballpark of a billion people who believe that you have God on your speed dial? Now that’s power! But I digress…